you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize