I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
