Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
