he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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