A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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