the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Come see our sink grown plant.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Randomize
