that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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