i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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