Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
