I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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