corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
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Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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