Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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