OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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