Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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