I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
literally had 100 drinks last night.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
