girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
