i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
