does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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