Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize