He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
