I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Acid is not a monday night drug
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Randomize
