Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
