R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
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