i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
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I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
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I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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