Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
