Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
