I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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