hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
