real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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