New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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