Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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