Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize