Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
This house was built for laser tag.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
