I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm always down for nudity.
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