So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
