he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
