She announced her abortion via fbk
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
