Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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