I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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