the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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