Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
