My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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