bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
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