party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
