OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
