whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
