We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize