I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
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Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
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Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize