Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
