She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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