Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry MrWhomp hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(419): View more from Ohio

His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.

Fav 60 1347 3579
share tweet
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them

Fav 41 4506 1861
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(203): View more from Connecticut

He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.

Fav 26 1998 5328
share tweet
(425): View more from Washington

In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter

Fav 5 3290 1351
share tweet
(217): View more from Illinois

it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.

Fav 5 5126 1109
share tweet
(916): View more from California

Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home

Fav 3 915 1963
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(540): View more from Virginia

AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA

Fav 2 1915 771
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(616): View more from Michigan

MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!

Fav 12 1056 1193
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(517): View more from Michigan

I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...

Fav 0 145 8
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT