This beer is not sobering me up at all
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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