ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
hahahahaha turkey breast
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site