3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
She said her name was "party"
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
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Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
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No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married