You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
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Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
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Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?