a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
