the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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