she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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