i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
