no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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