Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
